Christmas meditations bring me peace amid CAD turmoil
How I'm finding tranquility despite the frustrations of this disease
One candle in our Advent wreath is lit before our family’s devotion service begins. Together we sing, “O come, o come, Emmanuel, and ransom captive Israel.” This hymn causes us to remember God’s work and to anticipate God’s kingdom of the future, when we believe the world will be complete.
As Hymnary.org explains, “Christ’s first coming gives us a reason to rejoice again and again, yet we know that all is not well with the world.” Many Christians, including us, celebrate that first coming on Dec. 25, and Advent is the four-week period before Christmas when we anticipate and prepare spiritually for God’s gift. Each Sunday has a theme: hope, peace, joy, and then love. We light an additional candle each week.
Celebrating peace in the midst of turmoil
Sometimes, however, my cold agglutinin disease (CAD) robs me of my hope and peace. How can I celebrate the joy of my Lord when the reality of my life consists of fatigue and infusions? I must be on guard for overexertion, sudden drops in temperature, and infections.
CAD is an autoimmune, hemolytic anemia. Self-targeting antibodies attack and destroy red blood cells at low temperatures, resulting in symptoms such as anemia, aches and pains, breathing difficulties, and even heart problems. Treatment may involve tedious infusions of Rituxan (rituxamab) or Enjaymo (sutimlimab). My main preventive strategy is staying warm, and my greatest manifestation is fatigue.
CAD is my constant companion. I consider it when I go grocery shopping, as I must remember to take a sweater and wear closed-toe shoes, even in the summer. Going unprotected into the frozen food section can cause me to have difficulty breathing for more than a week.
I must be careful about the activities I do. How far will I have to walk? Are there hills? If I’m traveling by airplane, I must request wheelchair service because the distance from the check-in counter to the gate is greater than I can manage. I recently turned down a paying activity because it took place outside and temperatures were in the 40s F.
I also get frustrated when encouraged to “give it a try.” Too often, trying to do something when the air temperature is on the border of what I can tolerate leads to fatigue and breathing difficulties.
“CADdies,” as we who have CAD often call ourselves, often complain about how medical personal, especially lab workers, don’t listen to us when we remind them how to handle our blood. It must be received into warmed tubes and kept warm until processed. Too often, this procedure isn’t followed. The lab workers get reprimanded, but we CADdies are subjected to a second painful blood draw.
Rise above
A lit candle in our Advent wreath. The next will be lit on Dec. 8. (Photo by Mary Lott)
So how do we find peace and hope during the holiday season, when so many activities pose risks to our health? For me, it’s a matter of considering CAD as only a part of my life, and not the sum and substance of it.
This week’s Advent devotion is based on John 14:27, in which Jesus promises to give his followers peace. The Greek word for this is “eirene,” meaning tranquility of the soul, while the Hebrew root means “to be complete.” Having this quality enables me to rise above my external circumstances and the limitations that CAD imposes. It enables me to continue to serve others and not be self-centered.
CADdies are encouraged to practice meditation. During this time of Advent, the lead-up to Christmas, a large part of my meditations are focused on the eirene that I find in Christ.
Note: Cold Agglutinin Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cold Agglutinin Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cold agglutinin disease.
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