Church service helps guide this CAD patient from sluggishness to strength
I asked myself how Saint Ignatius’ Examen Prayer might apply to CAD
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It was touch and go on Sunday about whether I would make it to church. My sleep patterns have been less than consistent, with severe insomnia keeping me awake nights, so scheduling anything before noon has been challenging.
But I managed to drop off to sleep early on Saturday night, within about 10 minutes of arriving home. Still, I hadn’t stopped to rest at all during the day, and I was in quite a bit of pain as I finished my responsibilities. Also, my eyes were tired and swollen, and I had no energy.
I blame my cold agglutinin disease (CAD) for all of this. CAD is an autoimmune disease that causes hemolysis, or the destruction of red blood cells. Without a sufficient supply of them to carry oxygen throughout my body, my muscles respond with pain.
Testing the faith
As it turned out, church did me a world of good, and I’m glad I went. It helped me to refocus my thoughts.
When I settled into the pew, I gazed through the window at the lawn surrounding the church. Sunlight streamed through the pine trees and my thoughts were lifted from the mundane to the sublime. I began to think about how the practice of Saint Ignatius’ Examen Prayer might apply to CAD.
Examen is the practice of looking at the day’s events and evaluating them against a biblical standard. Applying a daily analysis of CAD’s effects on me can lead to a more objective viewpoint, and the questions I ask range from little to big. First, did I make my bed? That quick, personal action sets a tone of orderliness to my day. Then, I move on to whether I accomplish personal habits in a short time or stretch them out over hours. Then, I consider whether I went outdoors. Being in the sunshine adds to my vitamin D supply, but I also just enjoy looking at green pine needles against a blue sky. Their pungent, turpentine smell is perfume to me.
Finally, I check to see if I spoke to someone. Listening to others pulls my focus away from my needs and onto their concerns.
My CAD responded positively to the Examen questions. I moved out of myself and enjoyed a vista apart. I spoke with some people I had not met before. I listened to a friend tell me of challenges her child is facing. During this time, my body’s complaints almost disappeared.
I find it very easy to become wrapped up in the minutiae of CAD. I must remember that every day around 3:30 p.m. I must take my Brukinsa (zanubrutinib). I must remember to pace myself in order to achieve my activity goals. Those details are necessary. They are also the alligators you find yourself up to your neck in when you set about to drain the swamp.
I compare the afflictions of CAD to alligators because they are something I want to manage and not view as an overwhelming danger to my personal goals. My Examen does focus on the daily slog through the swamp of symptoms, but it also helps me see that my health has improved over this year. The swamp of being managed by CAD does appear to be draining at last.
Note: Cold Agglutinin Disease News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Cold Agglutinin Disease News or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to cold agglutinin disease.
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